Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
