hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Randomize
