am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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