people are starting to question the shark bite story
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
