I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
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