I feel like I'm in dance class right now
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
