he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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