His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Randomize