At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
