she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
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