I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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