somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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