Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
it's great music for shaving your balls
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
