he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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