I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
