If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
