sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I came so hard my ears popped.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
