Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
