And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
