were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
