The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
