Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Ladies don't puke and tell
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
