She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
