I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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