yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Randomize
