this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
