I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
