he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
