It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
