wat bout pragnant strippers??
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
