will power is for people who don't want to get laid
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
