But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
