You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found your dick twin last night
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
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