zippers are such a cool invention
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize
