so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
