I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
