Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
