it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Randomize
