people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
