they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
