I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
