My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
