I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize