im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
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