been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
