Got a toothbrush?
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
