so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
