have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
