i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
My first STD was from a foam party
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Randomize
