Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
