let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
