The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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