yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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