On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
