You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
she peed on how many people?
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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