is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
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