Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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