I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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