I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
handjob tips. give me some.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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