just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
