Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
