your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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