I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
