um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
