How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
We need to get me chipped asap
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
