careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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