I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize