Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I just had sex on a roof
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
