therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
